Mother's Day

I have now celebrated my 16th mother's day. This year was quiet and simple. One of my friends took the kids shopping so that they could treat me to something on Mother's day and on my birthday. They bought me a movie so after church we all vegged in front of the tv and watched the movie. Then they all went their separate ways to play. Just a nice day.

I have made the reservations to meet my husband in Seattle at the beginning of his midtour. I'm excited and nervous. It's a little disappointing that he doesn't appear to be excited at all. I'm hoping this can attributed to fatigue and not disinterest. I sometimes wonder if it is possible for both of us to be happy at the same time.

I can't even think of a title for this one. My daughter ended her first relationship ( or he did) about 5 months ago. I was expecting tears, depression and a gradual coming out of it. Then on to the rest of life. It has been anything but that. There are girls at school who continuously talk about her, the boy keeps bouncing in and out, and now she's convinced he is the one she's suppose to marry later in life. Of course thru it all I haven't necessarily been the hugs and cuddles mommy but I have listened, talked, tried to guide her in maturing a little bit in response to the situation. Now tonight I have been informed that in all of this I am the one who has caused her the greatest pain. Now a few weeks ago this would have resulted in a good round of self pity, wallowing, and few boxes of little debbies and a general so forget it attitude. At this moment though, I'm just sad. It's hard to find out as a mom that you are a source of pain for your child, at least for those of us within one standard deviation of normal. Now what? I have no clue where to go from here. I wanted to just quit. Then I went into my bedroom and found a drawing on my pillow. One of my sons had drawn a picture with HMD (Happy Mother's Day) and the words "you are wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14. So I figure I might just have a chance to still get part of this condition called motherhood right. After all I do have 4 tries at it. Maybe by the last one, she'll be okay and close to normal. The others I just gotta keep praying.